But now I’m into middle age and you are still a young man. Andrew, I’m forty-four years old. That’s middle aged. How can you still love me?”I said, “You are looking at this all wrong, Donnie. From a certain point of view we are closer in age than we were nine years ago.”She stopped crying and blinked. I could see she was interested in listening to the convoluted logic that I would use to prove that statement.She sniffed, “What do you mean?”I said, “When I was twenty-five, you were 40% older than me. But now that I’m thirty-four you’re less than 30% older than me. The older we get, the proportionally closer we get in age. It’s simple mathematics.”Her mouth opened but nothing came out. I think I had successfully diverted her from her original line of thought. She said, “Andrew, you think things that no one else has ever thought. You think things that no one else has ever thought of thinking. I love you, sweetie, but you are thoroughly strange.”I tried to defend myself. “I’m just an. Daddy is so proud of you, " and so on. "Daddy just wants his baby girl to be clean inside and out, OK?" "OK, Daddy, " she grunted as she was nearing the end of the bag. When it was empty I said, "Now Daddy is going to take out the nozzle and I need you to hold your water like a big girl, OK? I know you're starting to cramp a little, but it'll be over soon and then you can have your supper." I cleaned up and put the bag away as she waited, moaning uncomfortably. "Please, Daddy, can I let out my water now?" I knelt by the tub, rubbed her belly gently again and said, "Yes, Princess, let me help you up and over to the toilet." I helped her get to the toilet, telling her, "Hold your water until Daddy leaves the bathroom. There are wet wipes on the back of the toilet for after you wipe your hiney, OK, Sweetie?" "OK, Daddy, " she moaned as I exited the bathroom closing the door behind me. I heard her cry out as she released her water. I could just imagine her bent over on the toilet trying.
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